Friday, January 20, 2012

My Purse: The Garbage Bag

I happen to like big purses.  I mean, who KNOWS what I'll want to throw into it.  It needs to be ready for anything.  Anything.  

I was at a wedding this fall.  I was sitting, minding my own business in the nice little church pew, when the lady next to me (who I didn't know) looked down at my bag and said, "Is that a purse or a suitcase?"  Although my sinful nature wanted to say something not-so-nice back to her, I smiled politely and said, "Both."

A couple of weeks ago, though, I realized that I sort of lied to the lady.  My purse isn't really a purse OR a suitcase.  It looks more like a garbage bag.  Obviously, I have not been keeping track of what has been inside.  I keep dumping and dumping stuff in.  Whoops.  This is what I found inside my Mary Poppins bag:

BEFORE:  1 wallet/coupon organizer, 1 pair of sunglasses, 4 stretchy headbands, 1 regular headband, $3.47 in change, two jump drives, 1 iPod, 1 camera, 5 tupperwares of vitamins, 1 bottle of ibuprofen, 1 bottle of nail polish, 2 bottles of lotion, 6 chapsticks, 1 pair of gloves, 1 scarf, 1 pad of sticky notes, 1 comb, 5 pairs of earrings, 5 paper clips, 1 straw, 1 spoon, 1 makeup bag, 1 christmas card, 1 brochure, 1 string of beads, 1 bottle of dry shampoo, 1 bottle of curly spray, 1 compact of powder, 1 huge pile of garbage, 15 random receipts, 4 pens, 1 pair of tanning goggles.

AFTER: 1 pair of sunglasses, 2 jump drives, 2 chapticks, 1 pen, 1 pack of gum, 1 hard drive, 1 iPod, 1 wallet/coupon organizer, 1 pair of tanning goggles.

The "after" photo was taken a couple of weeks ago, and I ashamed to admit that my purse is starting to seem more and more like a garbage dump all over again.  I think I will clean it out before Mark and I head to Florida.  I do not want the TSA airport security people to think I am a weirdo or turn me into that hoarding show on TLC.  Yikes.

Let it be known that if you ever need an extra headband or chaptick or spoon or tupperware of vitamins, I will save the day for you.  Free of charge.


  1. What, no rogue sticks of gum? Or sticky granola bar wrappers? No wrinkled Culver's Kids Meal "free custard" coupons? How about a 2010 dance recital ticket that you have been meaning to add to a scrapbook? Or pencil shavings? (Yeah, that's a weird one.)

    All this to say, your BEFORE pic looks like my AFTER. But I can tell from that photo (the spoon was a dead giveaway) that you are going to be an awesomely prepared mom someday. :)

  2. Ha! The rogue sticks of gum were in the large garbage pile because they had pieces of lint and sand stuck to them. :) Glad I'm not the only messy purse lady out there!


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