Friday, November 30, 2018

Top Knot Thoughts


Let's all take a moment to offer praise + thanksgiving to the Lord for causing my postpartum hair to grow back.  The greatest blessing is now I can wear my hair up without needing large amounts of brown eyeshadow painted on my temples to fill in my bald spots.

Hallelujah.  Thank You, Jesus, for real.

I would also like to share that in the entire history of me doing my own hair I have been doing top knots ALL WRONG.  A few years ago, I swore off top knots altogether because they hurt my head, pulled my hair, gave me sensory issues AND HEADACHES, and made me overarchingly grumpy at life.  #firstworldproblems

Anyway, I was styling them at the almost top of my head.  Like a conservative top knot on the crown of my head - not the very top.  Because, after all, I am a pastor's wife living in a very Republicany nicey-nice sort of area in the Midwest and conservatism in politics AND hair styling is highly favored.  

But then.  BUT THEN, I started following a gal on Instagram who is, by the way, a rock star in ministry sorts of things, and I began noticing her top knots.  They were, like, big and bold - at the tippy-top of her head.  She has really long, really thick hair, so they were huge + tall, like big towers at the VERY top of her head, you guys.  This girl had in-your-face sorts of top knots.

Just yesterday, Wes was teething and crazy fussy, and I had no time to take a shower, so a top knot of my own was in order.  I should also add that I had no time to look in a mirror, so I just shoved all of my hair in a big knot and lived my best mom life.

Later, much later, I realized I was NOT having a headache or a case of the grumpies.  Eventually, I also looked in a mirror and saw the knot was on the very top of my head, like Insta girl.  Imagine my surprise.

I'm going out on a limb here because I almost flunked physics, (special thanks to Jon Mouw for pulling me through) but I'm thinking my wonderful new top knot position - on the top of my head - is so wonderful because it is more in line with my body's center of gravity.

Is that right, physics people?  That's what "center of gravity" means, right?

Anyway, too far back, and it weighs down, pulls your hair, strains your neck, gets in the way when you want to rest your head back on the rocking chair - you get the picture.

Right at the TOP of your head, large and in charge, and it is perfectly balanced.  It's weight is supported by the rest of your head, it's bulge is out of the way for rocking chair mini-naps...  There is no pulling, no heaviness, no grumpies.

See?  This is why I love + celebrate getting older.  Sure, there are more wrinkles, but now, at thirty five years of age, I HAVE FIGURED OUT TOP KNOTS.

Excuse me while I go dominate the rest of my life.
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