Thursday, May 10, 2018

Friday Five

1) Our baby is due in about twenty days, so I'm beginning to think about hospital packing.  To each his own, but in my strong opinion, there are entirely too many maternity robes that are floral, made with silky fabric, trimmed with lace or crocheted pieces, or that are fuchsia.   Fuchsia. 

Let's all please think for a moment about what we moms will be doing in a hospital after having our babies, what sort of condition we will be in, what sorts of things we will be doing, and what sorts of bodily fluids we will be exposed to...  And then let's think for a moment about silky fabric and lace. 

I will be sifting through 12 million floral-dominated robes in hopes of finding something all black and cotton.  Wish me luck.

2) While I'm on the topic of having babies, please mamas, just do yourself a favor and skip the weird hospital underwear and pads that may or may not catch everything.  

Swallow your pride.  Like, really swallow it. 

Then, go to Wal-Mart, and buy yourself a pack of extra large Depends. 

You can thank me later.

3) Tiny leaves popped out of the buds on our trees overnight on Tuesday.  This reminds me that God is not only the Creator - the guy that originally got everything started.  He also enjoys creating - and joyfully does so constantly.  He just can't help himself.  I imagine him staying up late, excitedly unfurling every little blade and bud, placing it just so - anxious for us all to wake up and marvel at how something so beautiful and miraculous happened while we were sleeping.  I'm certain he does this in the fall too - painting all the trees in different hues and patterns...  Creating is so fun.  What a happy God He must be!

4) I am a LaCroix-holic.  Does that sort of thing exist?  The first step is admitting you have a problem, and boy do I have a problem.  I have been tempted to hide my pile of empties before Mark gets home from work, certain he will judge me for my gluttony.  Anyway, I've been earnestly trying to be a little bit more reasonable and thought the Pepsi Company "Bubly" brand might be my saving grace.  Same idea as LaCroix, fizzy, fruity-tasting sparkling water without the sugar - but cheaper, and thus easier to rationalize. 

I tried, I really did.  When Bubly was on sale at Fareway, I bought just about every flavor, thinking I'd surely find one that would do the trick, but no.  No, no no.  

My list of grievances include...  1) The flavors taste more like Jolly Ranchers and less like refreshing fruit.  2) The fizz is off.  I can't decide if some have been too fizzy or not fizzy enough, but it's just off.  I can't explain it.  3) The branding is kitschy.  That's a word, right?  Like, tries to be funny and cute, but just ends up being tacky and childish.  I'm sorry, but I care a lot about packaging and branding vibe, people.  4) The name Bubly drives me nuts.  I think it sounds dumb and hokey when it's said out loud and in print, it looks misspelled. 

Anyway, I'm declaring myself a LaCroix girl forever.  And, I'm allowing myself to be a gluttonous supporter of the brand until the baby gets here.  Then, though, I think I'll ration myself to a can a day.  That seems reasonable, right?  Hold me to it, friends.

5) When Will moved into a big boy bed with a real mattress, I bought a set of nice, waterproof mattress pads for it.  I will sum up a really frustrating situation by saying that those waterproof pads are not waterproof

I thought, the first time, maybe I had missed something or that one had been faulty, so naturally, I tried the other one I had bought.  Sure enough, he had another accident a few nights later, and we found out the other one was not waterproof either.  I double checked the packaging.  It says "waterproof," like a million times.  Yet, (I'll say it once more)...they are not waterproof.

Actually, now that I think about it, maybe they are waterproof, but they certainly are not PEE PROOF. 

Palm to forehead.

Excuse me while I do a different search on Amazon.  "Pee proof mattress pad..."  We'll see what I come up with...

Happy Friday, friends.

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