Because I LOVE to decorate and because I LOVE Will and because I was excited for this new chapter, I spent hours and hours on his room - incorporating parts of his personality in every detail. I designed new artwork, found the perfect curtains, made space for his tractors, created a cozy book nook, found a home for a big and comfy reading/snuggling chair, carefully selected some special "big boy" toys for his baskets... We bought a new crib/toddler bed... Mark painted the walls, hung the shelves, designed a changing table in his closet, measured out where the artwork should go... My mom sewed matching sheets and made an adorable tent to have adventures and camp-outs in...
...and, it was perfect...well-worth the sweat and the investment and the hours.
But then...
A couple of months ago, Will finally figured out how to climb out of his crib. We knew this was inevitable, so we moved ahead and converted his crib to a toddler bed - a bed he could easily climb in and out of without killing himself in the middle of the night.
And then, bless his heart, we found Will taking FULL advantage of his snazzy room. He was reading books and skipping naps, playing with tractors until 11 PM, climbing up to the tippy-top of his comfy chair, running laps around his tent, yanking his shelves from the drywall and, not sleeping.
So, I had to do it... I tore apart my labor of love, dismantled Will's little paradise of fun and stripped the room bare. Every toy, every book, every tiny thing he could find a way to play with got tossed into big IKEA bags and put in the basement.
And we were back to square one - left with a vacant, boring, ugly room.
Yes, he slept better. Yes, he napped better, but I was mad at Will.
Not only had he squandered all my hard work, his crazy up-all-night-shenanigans had ruined a welcoming and beautiful place in our house. Every time I walked into his blank space of a room, I was a little annoyed and a little bummed and a little distracted by its new-found ugliness.
Fast forward a few weeks.
Will and Charlotte have become obsessed with opening and shutting doors (Will opens, Charlotte shuts. They are quite the team). Every once in a while, I would watch them toddle off, down the hall into Will's room and shut the door. At first, I was concerned. Surely they would kill each other behind a closed door, away from my protection. I would immediately follow them, open the door and confirm they were both still alive and well.
As this scene continued to repeat itself over a few days, though, I started leaving them alone for a few minutes at a time...only to hear, to my surprise, squeals of delight, belly laughs and high-pitched giggles coming from the end of the hall.
"Pay wit Chalee in woom, Mama?" Will would ask.
"You want to play with Charlie in your room?" I'd clarify.
"Okay!!!" he'd yell with a grin, and off he sprinted with Charlie at his heels.
Giggles, more giggles, belly laughs, squeals, and screams of baby talk...
Feeling like I was missing out on something incredibly fun, I started to join them, and this is what I found:
They hide behind the curtains and scream "BOO!" as the other runs away.
They wrestle and tackle and squeal with delight.
They make funny faces at each other and belly laugh until they fall backwards.
They chase and race and jump and yell...
They make their own fun in that ugly room.
Now? It's not uncommon for the four of us - Mark, myself and the two crazies - to run into that same room after bath time, shut the door, and share the best moments of the entire day.
In that blank room, there are no toys, no decorations, no phones, no books, no clocks, no computers, no knocks at the door, no televisions...
In that big space, there's nothing but the four of us. Wrestling. Belly-laughing. Being together - with nothing in the way.
Maybe an ugly, undecorated, empty room is just what I needed.
Sometimes, I think I can decorate myself into a corner with no room to run free. We can snuggle into our matching sheets and pile of stuffed animals and forget to cuddle and wrestle with the ones we love most. We have so many toys laying around on our floors, we can't spin and twirl with abandon. We read so many books, we forget to have a face-to-face conversation...
Sometimes our stuff becomes clutter and our busyness becomes a stumbling block.
Maybe we need more empty rooms, more space...
Maybe, at least sometimes, we need less...
...to experience more...
...more togetherness, more freedom, more adventures, more joy...
...
And, if nothing else, maybe we need less just so we can sleep better at night... Right, Will? (wink, wink...)
PS - This is addendum is for Dad...in regard to space: the final frontier, the title of this post. I will now write this all by heart, Dad. Ahem... Space: The Final Frontier... These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise...its continuing mission is to explore strange, new worlds...to seek out new life and new civilizations...to boldly go where no one has gone before!!
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