Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Mommy Wars : Our Real Enemy


It's been a while, folks.  To catch up, THIS is where I talked about how much Mommy Wars stink.

And, THIS is where we chatted about WHY we Mommy War - we war because we care; we war because we were made to war.

But here's the thing.  When we armor up and draw our weapons, we'd better be dang sure of whose side we're on, and who the real enemy is.  After all, we'd hate to fight against our friends and sisters and loved ones...

And, yet...we do just that.  Our sweet friends and sisters and loved ones are falling casualty to a tragic, misguided war.  Our arrows of unsolicited advice and judgment and comparisons and disrespect and snide remarks are wounding, killing and paralyzing the very ones we should be protecting.

So let's take a minute and clarify something.

Fellow mamas are not your enemy.  We are all on the same team - Co-sleepers and Formula Feeders and Antivaxxers and Public Schoolers and Cloth Diaper-ers alike.  Like it or not, we are all allies.

And, our common enemy?  Satan.  His lies, his demons, the powers of hell, the forces of evil...

I think we are all smart enough to realize this.  We know our time and energy could be better spent warring against the devil instead of each other...but it is still very difficult to unite with people we, even superficially, disagree with.

How can we find it in our sinful, stubborn hearts to protect and support and even like mamas who CO-SLEEP?!  Or feed their babies "poisonous" FORMULA?!  Or let their babies CRY IT OUT?!  Or who WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME?!  Or who DON'T VACCINATE?!  (Insert other "horrible" things you may disagree with...)

Let me share a couple of stories...

ONE - When Mark and I lived in Sioux Falls, we worked for a ministry called Young Life.  Our mission was to equip teams of adults to invest in the lives of kids, build relationships, share life, and ultimately, share Jesus.  These adults - our Young Life Leaders - were a motley crew.  Some were fresh out of high school, others were young dads, others were grandparents.  Some of us were jocks, others band geeks and math nerds.  Our team consisted of introverts and extroverts, loud and funny, quiet and serious.  Some of us dressed in black, had obsessions with snakes and Batman...  Others wore dresses and cardigans and did Geometry problems for fun (I love you, Jess).  Some of us grew up in The Church, others were virtually unchurched.  Overall, we were all over the place.  Very few of us would have picked each other out of a crowd to befriend or hang out with.  And, yet...  Yet, we would have done anything for each other.  We loved each other deeply.  We looked forward to gathering.  We had each others' backs.  We fought and sacrificed and supported each other through thick and thin.

TWO - Years ago, when I was working at a church, I was weathering a rough patch in life.  Through a series of events, I stumbled into a group of people who were gathering for weekly prayer meetings - again, a random bunch!  We were from different denominations, different backgrounds, shared different views on some theological points.  We were wives and college students and farmers and moms and grandpas and missionaries and ninety year-olds.  We rarely hung out, other than to meet for prayer.  We were not on each other's list of people to call on a Friday night to get together.  We had very little in common.  We didn't know what each other's favorite colors were or what each of us did last weekend or how we met our spouses.  And, yet...  Yet, we experienced a supernatural kind of unity I can't begin to fully explain.  We laughed and cried and intercessed and stood in the gap for each other, and our churches, as hours would fly by.  We, too, loved each other deeply.  Even to this day, I am not exaggerating in saying we'd die for one another.

In both situations, these groups of people had much to disagree about.  We had plenty to divide over, and even more to become annoyed with.  So, why were these groups so tight, so full of love, so united?  Why were we so willing to protect and defend and sacrifice for each other?

Despite our differences, we were united in a greater mission - fighting for the purposes of the Lord and warring against Satan.

Though the group of Young Life leaders wouldn't normally befriend each other, we were united in reaching kids for Jesus.  We warred against the powers of hell to spread the gospel.  

Though my prayer meeting friends wouldn't normally hang out with each other, we were united in praying for our community.  We warred against the enemy in calling forth the Lord's fullness for our area.

In these groups, the importance of the mission superseded our differences.

The things we did not have in common, and the things we could have disagreed upon, seemed smaller, compared to the weight and gravity of our common, overarching objectives.

So.  Back to Mommy Wars...

The truth is, Satan hates our children.  He hates families.  He hates moms and dads.  As we sit and obliviously bicker about organic baby food, demons are on targeted missions to attack and destroy our most precious treasures and callings.  The enemy will stop at nothing to tear apart our marriages, desecrate the sanctity of our children's lives, cause us to believe we will never measure up as a mother, and reduce our families to brokenness.

This is not cause for fear - this is a call to action.

When we stop and realize this and embrace this truth, we should feel compelled, all the more, to unite with fellow mothers around a mission that is much greater than ourselves.

Instead of wasting time judging and disrespecting and comparing breast milk over Enfamil, war against Satan!

You were made to war.  

The battle lines have been drawn, and it's time for us to take our rightful place in the Lord's army, and stand our ground.

Put on the full armor of God, and war for Truth!

War to share the gospel in your community!  War to care for the orphan!  War to raise up the next generation of worshippers!  War to disciple younger women!  War to care for the sick and elderly!    War to enfold minority families!  War to raise up a generation of young people who are sold out for Jesus!  War to further the kingdom of God, here, as it is in heaven!
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