I am pleased to announce that we made it. We made it through two bouts of nursing in the backseat of the Buick, problem-solving through a I'm-crazy-hungry-feed-me-meltdown, a couple of diaper changes on my lap, a record-breakingingly quick run to Target for wipes and being poked and prodded at the doctor's office... I can't say it was pretty or very put-together, but we DID it. Phew. How do you mamas do things like this everyday? Teach me...
The doctor appointments were fine. No new news. Will is gaining weight like a mad man and doing all sorts of "regular" newborn things. We are praising God for some sense of normalcy in the midst of the chaos.
Call me a jerk, but I still hated the appointments. I hate talking about things like strokes, seizures, and brain bleeds. Sometimes, I find myself pretending like none of these things ever happened, so having to deal with these topics at appointments makes it all too real again.
On the ride home, I was thinking about the power of these words - stroke, seizure, bleeding... Every word has some sort of connotation...a feeling or idea that pops into your mind when you hear the word spoken... When I hear "stroke", "seizure", "bleeding" - especially in regard to my tiny baby, my heart just sinks. These are such nasty words that come pre-packaged with such nasty connotations, feelings and emotions. "Stroke" is full of hopelessness. "Seizure" comes with fear. "Bleeding" is a loss of control and weakness.
Yuck.
I'm not saying there's a demon lurking in every corner or trying to overspiritualize this, but I am not okay with the way the enemy can/could use these words to promote despair and anxiety. I am not okay with how "beat up" I feel when I think about them. Just because these words - labels, even - have been spoken over our son, they do not need to hold him (or us) in bondage.
It makes me think of the passage in II Corinthians 12... "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
If our weakness really is the Lord's strength, and if our weakness really is the place that the Lord's power can rest on us, then Will's seizures, strokes and bleeding - those labels, those insults - can be delighted in as the Lord uses them to display His glory, to give Will a testimony, and to show His healing power. These hardships are special and beautiful and strengths in Will.
But why, oh why, do I hear those words and still my heart sinks...? In my mind, I know these things about the Lord are true, but my heart hasn't quite lined up with all of it yet... He isn't finished with me, evidently.
Having read this I believed it was really enlightening.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you spending some time and effort to put this article together.
I once again find myself personally spending a lot of time both reading and leaving comments.
But so what, it was still worth it!
Here is my webpage - how much should i weigh chart
ReplyDeleteWatch [URL=http://www.okay2shoes.net/nikeairjordanairjordan8-c-1_16.html][b]Cheap Air Jordan 8[/b][/URL] californication season 4 episode 12 and justice for all
Mention migrating for you to california and into a state once again, you'll find it more fulfilling to just trip for shotgun speed into your beat-Up range rover, vacation by means of persons winding streets using your scalp hurtling to all of guidance with out using wink associated with care and attention.However, the tv screen series californication circles close to our hero hank anytime they have suffering from his / her private demons.He / she always struggles along with his inability to generate your partner's nose as a result [URL=http://www.okay2shoes.net][b]Cheap Jordans[/b][/URL] of drugs, sex, and also alcohol, although endeavouring to show their relatives this he has goody two-Shoes and a nurturing father in order to becca along with a trustworthy other half to help you karen.This valuable january, any television series was basically refurbished for a fifth season using twelve latest episodes of the sitcom to enter processing for spring 2012.Watch californication season 4 episode 12 online.
Californication season 4 episode 12.In the mean time, keep it up;Hide a remote control somewhere no person can snatch separate and also option avenues as long as you're and so anxious about the following episodes, that is the total bummer! So watch Californication season 4 episode 12 Online.
State-Of-The-art togeTher with one Of a kind, this valuable comedy facilities regarding novelist Hank Moody (David duchovny)What person challenges to increase his particular 12-Year-Old daughter becca(Madeleine martin), when always carrying any torch intended for his particular ex-Girlfriend karen(Mcelhone).His obsession with truth-telling togeTher with self-Destructive tendencies--Refreshments, medicines not to mention friendships-- tend to be ruining as well as enriching Their prOfession.After a private pet grooming accident, charlie discovers that his / her vasectomy had been messed up and that marcy's little one could be your partner's;Hank's association having lawyer abby gets additional private however a fantastic action brings any compromising photo that will trash hank's lifespan.Watch californication season 4 episode 12.
Californication season 4 episode 12 synopsis:Charlie contains a problematic shaving for men vehicle accident along with marcy pushes him or her for the er, where a medical professional provides them a revelation news flash around charlie's vasectomy.The particular, hank possesses an awkward experience using mia together with the presenter who will often be playing her own around the imminent roll film.Later, hank is actually invited towards becca's band's demonstrate, when your dog suits karen's brand-New gentleman.Coming from producer tom kapinos shows up one other comedy-Drama which premiered it has the pilot instance for august 13, 2007:Californication.This selection chronicles a tale from protagonist hank moody, played out by way of david duchovny, the latest distressed novelist what individuals set foot regarding california not to mention your boyfriend's writer's inhibit, along with be the reality that they reduces his / her association along with his long-Time honey karen played just by natascha mcelhone not to mention their daughter becca(Madeleine martin). Other fundamental parts can include Charlie Runkle, Marcy Runkle, and additionally Mia Cross so let's watchCalifornication Season 4 Episode 12 Online.