I am losing hope in social media. Quickly.
Because we all are just typing, and because those typed words seem to fly off into a meaningless outer space, it is far too easy to type things that are negative, hurtful, unprofitable, argumentative, defensive, prideful, and everything else in between.
And the thing is, I have been guilty of this. I am one of "those people" that has contributed to this pile of crap by typing negative, unprofitable, horrible sorts of things. It makes me wonder if it's even worth it.
A while back, I blogged because I thought the Lord had given me a story to share - a testimony of His faithfulness to encourage others to hope in Him more. I was also having a lot of fun designing and crafting and was so excited about it, I just wanted to share with everyone. I engaged on other social media platforms because it was fun to connect with people I would never otherwise connect with...and I truly believed these media sorts of things could be redeemed and used for the Lord's purposes.
Great intentions, folks.
But here I am. Processing what feels like a bit fat mess.
Though I started with the best of intentions, it just seems too complicated. Though I DO have a story to share, and though it IS a story of the Lord's faithfulness, I feel like I can/should only share the good parts...and that the valleys and the yucky parts are too dark, too riddled with negativity and doubt...and only sharing the good parts feels, well, fake. Though I DO have fun sharing design and crafting sorts of things, is it, in the end, just unprofitable? Meaningless? And, perhaps, even rooted in my own pride or false identity? Though it IS fun to connect with people, is it really worthwhile to "invest" in 100 relationships at the expense of 10 face-to-face, undistracted sorts of deeper, more relational interactions? Though I DO believe social media can be redeemed for the Lord's purposes, I, personally, feel too weak and too sinful to sign up for that job. I will screw it up - and HAVE screwed it up.
Sharing on social media is complicated. Even completely innocent, well-intentioned sharing can be misunderstood, or could offend. After all, you hardly ever have FULL control over who will see or read your content. How will Jane Doe in Never Never Land respond - especially when you've never really considered someone like HER will be reading your posts?
And here's another thing that's even more discouraging... Some of my favorite blog authors have been inundated with horrible, hate-filled, argumentative comments on their posts. It makes me wonder if blog readers are even interested in the heart of what's being said vs. a misuse of a word or a tiny point that could be taken out of context. Is the social media world really this dark?
Are we all looking for an argument? Looking to jockey our positions or wisdom over another's? Are we all looking to just be heard? By someone - anyone? Are we all frantically adjusting our highlight reel for others to think we're successful and worthwhile? Are we all desperately connecting with hundreds of faceless people just to feel known? Yuck.
Bah. Is it worth it? I am not sure yet.
Do I overanalyze everything? Yes. Yes, I do.
Hey LIza, you don't know me but my husband went to college with Mark. I started reading your blog sometime during your pregnancy from a link on facebook because I was pregnant and due pretty much around the same time as you. I enjoy seeing what others in "the same boat" as me are doing and it has been fun keeping up with your monthly posts about Will. I think your honesty about what you are going through in life is very refreshing and what has kept me coming back to your blog. It is very real and I have never felt it was too negative. We live in a broken world so if we are completely honest with ourselves our postings would be negative at least part of the time.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I have never commented before because I thought it would be weird but I feel like it is strange that we seem to be on the same wavelength. I posted this to our blog around the first of January and I think it hits on a lot of the same things you are feeling. http://pkkolb.blogspot.com/2013/12/my-social-media-detox.html
I have enjoyed reading your blog. I thought I would finally comment and thank you for your honest and humorous view into your life. It really does help others to know that someone else is feeling the same things!
I found I started to be obsessed with my blog and realized I was giving up my kids and real humans. So I let it go. Started to re-engage with people who really needed me. Not everyone is like me, but once I stopped I didn't feel as I obsessed. I'm a people person-- I need human faces.
ReplyDeleteYour stuff is deep and good and beautiful! Any journey you walk, there will always be an enemy. Always. But know your words have been healing comforting to many. Even your crafts! They are beautiful and creative!
I was first told about your blog by people who knew you at my church. They were praying for Will. It has been so wonderful how you have documented your journey. If for no one else but for Will. A long time ago, I too had a blog, I limited it to family and very close friends that had to sign in with a password. I started to wonder if anyone was reading it because you know how annoying it is to sign into a site with a password. In any event, I continued for a while and would always print each blog entry and photos and put it in a binder for each of my kids. That is who I was truly doing the blog for anyway. I love looking back on the binders of my blog entry. I am now sad that I stopped because I don’t have anything that documents our life journey the way that did. When Facebook became popular, I decided to give up my blog completely and then copy and paste my family focused postings into a Word document and then print it off that way for my keepsake binder. I felt that the older generation would have quilted or crocheted, my gift to my kids would be photos and journaling. Well, the Facebook thing lasted for a while and then I wondered again why I was putting all of the time into it so I stopped completely. I have not yet started writing just to write. It seems that having family and friends interested in the current happenings motivated me to write faster than nothing motivating me now. Now I feel really far behind and it honestly feels overwhelming to catch up. I wish you all the best with sorting out how you feel and hope you find peace and fulfillment with whatever you choose! Katie
ReplyDeleteHey! I just recently stumbled across your blog through your son's baby shower/dedication post :) I was searching for Psalm 127:4 print design ideas to make for my husband :). Love yours by the way! I must say that I so get this post. I have been so discouraged lately by blogging. Feeling the tug of war between honoring God with my posts and giving Him full reign over my words, and posting things that will just get page views. It is so sad and shameful to admit. Sometimes I think "why on earth am I even doing this?" But I do know that He has begun a good work in my little blog. He has started to create a bit of a community I really hope to foster and build. A group of women encouraging each other in motherhood and living out the gospel. I definitely have to keep that at the forefront of my mind. Anyway, I hope this is a bit of encouragement. That there is some hope out there, some of us are of the same mind :)
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