Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Why I Think New Year's Resolutions Stink

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I hate New Year's resolutions.  In the past, this "if-then" statement has been true of my life...

IF Liza makes a New Year's resolution, THEN she will do everything BUT that resolution in the next year.

Epic fail.

I feel like I've failed on the resolution thing for a few reasons...

  1. Resolutions make me feel pressured, obligated, guilty, and tied up.  I am squirming on the inside just thinking about it.
  2. I am stubborn...so when I feel pressured, obligated, guilty, and tied up, I usually revolt and dig my heels in even more.  
  3. Left to my sinful self, I am just awful.  Really.  I am the worst.  The only way I have ever accomplished anything of significance ANYTHING is through the Lord's power at work within me.  I don't believe I ever would have even come to know God and have a relationship with Him without His help in opening up my heart.  There are so many times that I ask Him for some of the most seemingly simple things.  "God, HELP me love You more.  I can't conjure it up on my own!"  "HELP me have patience today.  I feel really grumpy and irritable.  This could get bad without You."
So, this year, I am not resolving or determining anything on my own.  I can't do it.  I am too nasty.  Phew.  That feels better.

...

Okay, so before you start to think I'm a lazy butt that never wants to grow, let me assure you that I have talked to the Lord about some things.  I've asked Him what He wants to work on in my life.  What does He want to change in my heart?  How is He asking me to grow?  We've (as opposed to just me) come up with three things...

  1. Peace.  Since I am an introvert, I have been inclined to think that "peace" meant no chaos, no busyness, dimmed lights, warm blankets, a hot cup of tea, a great book, no talking, being alone.  Lately, though, the Lord has dealt with my heart in reminding me that peace is not the absence of chaos, etc.  It is/should be in the midst of these things.  I have been waiting around for dimmed lights, warm blankets, cups of tea and time alone for peace to happen.  And it continues to elude me.  I am thinking God wants to help me find peace in the middle of my crap and in the middle of my busyness.  So, I'm asking Him to help me figure out what that looks like in everyday life...what that feels like.  We are going to work together.
  2. Discipline.  I said discipline...not legalism, folks.  Motivated by a heart of love for the Lord...  I am such a right-brained person.  I hate routine, I hate schedule, I am more of a free spirit.  Things get done when I am good and ready to get them done.  Although I do think God purposefully made me inclined towards more free spirit things for a reason, He has also reminded me that I am missing out on some things He has for me...  I've been too led by my emotions, been too lazy and just not very purposeful.  This next year, I am asking the Lord for help in being more disciplined.  And, here's the kicker - more disciplined unto deeper and greater things in Him.  That unto is what I hope will give me the right perspective in all of the striving.
  3. Healing.  The migraines are back, friends.  Rats, huh?  This year, I will be continuing to ask the Lord more about the migraines and more about His perspective on healing.  For some reason, I feel like this won't be an instantaneous sort of healing.  I feel like He has me on a journey of seeking and asking in the midst of these migraines.  He's not saying "no".  He's just been saying "not quite yet."  We will see what unfolds in the next year!
These are my three prayers.  If you really insist, I suppose we could call them "resolutions", too.  Just be very aware that these are not Liza's resolutions.  They are things that I am resolving to work on and journey through with the Lord leading the way.  

If you are my friend, feel free to ask me about these things and hold me accountable.  The Body of Christ is a good, good thing.

Happy 2012, friends!  

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